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Respect yourself enough to walk away from anything that no longer serves you, grows you, or makes you happy.
– (via penseesduchoeur)

You.

(Source: pennygolightly, via partofmeistoxic)

Running and traveling

Traveling is the best type of therapy. Second must be running.

Combining those sounds a lot like running away. Maybe that’s what I’m doing.

And maybe I should stop and reflect about what that says about my character, but as soon as I sat down I just thought too much.

Maybe I am running away. At this point, it’s working.

And so I don’t give a fuck.

Part of Me is Toxic: Dr. George O’Malley: [Narrating] “Okay so sometimes, even the best of...

partofmeistoxic:

Dr. George O’Malley: [Narrating] “Okay so sometimes, even the best of us make rash decisions - bad decisions. Decisions we pretty much know we’re gonna regret the moment, the minute - especially the morning after. I mean, maybe not “regret” regret because at least, you know, we put ourselves out…

In your life, you meet people. Some you never think about again. Some, you wonder what happened to them. There are some that you wonder if they ever think about you. And then there are some you wish you never had to think about again. But you do.
– C. S. Lewis  (via cityyandcolour)

(Source: saddest-summer, via partofmeistoxic)

i would like a new wardrobe consisting of bright colors, whites, and blacks adorned by flashy pumps. and beautiful turquoise earrings that dangle and bracelets that shine. necklaces that pop in color and spirit.

lets not forget to get new, sexy, and lacy underwear. and some pretty lacy bras, too.

i’d like to become more fit and fix my posture and show my best features; wear my hair up in a beautiful braided bun so the world can see my shining face which somehow just will “have that glow.”

i want to be proud of who i am; the people who stuck by me, and give myself to everyone who deserves it, especially to me.  

all because.

today

i realized and( confirmed it with my heart:)

i’m no longer in love with you. 

one more.

one more.

Yes. To new beginnings. Looking forward to finally having my alone time and rediscovering myself. Two days…

Yes. To new beginnings. Looking forward to finally having my alone time and rediscovering myself. Two days…

black coffee

black coffee coats my thoughts so well.

two finals and a paper left. 

i’m ready to be done.

can’t wait to get out on the road and run for forever. 

maybe i’ll figure something out, then.

i usually do.

He asked why people are sad. “That’s simple,” says the old man. “They are the prisoners of their personal history. Everyone believes that the main aim in life is to follow a plan. They never ask if that plan is theirs or if it was created by another person. They accumulate experiences, memories, things, other people’s ideas, and it is more than they can possibly cope with. And that is why they forget their dreams.
– Paulo Coelho (via babotofu)

(Source: troubled, via partofmeistoxic)

 – 
[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]

spoke to you this morning. it ended up with us cursing each other out, you hanging up. i never want to speak to you or see you ever again. you were just a lesson, ive confirmed. and you have been too selfish to love me,  and i’ve been too hopeful in thinking you’ll realize that i deserve better than convenient care. 

then the rest of them followed suit. they all said their goodbyes to me in a heartless text but refused to see me. all three of the ones i tried to use as distractions…from you; from my life. of course. they became close to me. i used them as toys. then i had to hurt them.

“you broke my heart, why would you be given a chance to be the last person i see before forever happens?”

i deserved that. 

and i sit, sipping my 903:focus tea (causing me to focus on this sole thought:)

 awareness: my broken heart is responsible for the damage of even more. like a virus, i infected others with the sadness i so toiled over.

i have been a rotting emotional corpse for 1.5 years and i haven’t even realized it.

i need to run.

Download

just a lesson.

maybe you were just part of the whole trial-error thing. 

thats how we figure out life, right?

realization

this year i learned something:

being cared for and not being cared for is completely out of your power. no matter how much energy you place into pursuing the compassion in your relationships, you are simply cared for because you are. and you aren’t simply because they. don’t. care.

that’s it. 

Respect yourself enough to walk away from anything that no longer serves you, grows you, or makes you happy.
– (via penseesduchoeur)

You.

(Source: pennygolightly, via partofmeistoxic)

Running and traveling

Traveling is the best type of therapy. Second must be running.

Combining those sounds a lot like running away. Maybe that’s what I’m doing.

And maybe I should stop and reflect about what that says about my character, but as soon as I sat down I just thought too much.

Maybe I am running away. At this point, it’s working.

And so I don’t give a fuck.

Part of Me is Toxic: Dr. George O’Malley: [Narrating] “Okay so sometimes, even the best of...

partofmeistoxic:

Dr. George O’Malley: [Narrating] “Okay so sometimes, even the best of us make rash decisions - bad decisions. Decisions we pretty much know we’re gonna regret the moment, the minute - especially the morning after. I mean, maybe not “regret” regret because at least, you know, we put ourselves out…

(Source: art--of, via partofmeistoxic)

In your life, you meet people. Some you never think about again. Some, you wonder what happened to them. There are some that you wonder if they ever think about you. And then there are some you wish you never had to think about again. But you do.
– C. S. Lewis  (via cityyandcolour)

(Source: saddest-summer, via partofmeistoxic)

i would like a new wardrobe consisting of bright colors, whites, and blacks adorned by flashy pumps. and beautiful turquoise earrings that dangle and bracelets that shine. necklaces that pop in color and spirit.

lets not forget to get new, sexy, and lacy underwear. and some pretty lacy bras, too.

i’d like to become more fit and fix my posture and show my best features; wear my hair up in a beautiful braided bun so the world can see my shining face which somehow just will “have that glow.”

i want to be proud of who i am; the people who stuck by me, and give myself to everyone who deserves it, especially to me.  

all because.

today

i realized and( confirmed it with my heart:)

i’m no longer in love with you. 

one more.

one more.

yes.

yes.

Yes. To new beginnings. Looking forward to finally having my alone time and rediscovering myself. Two days…

Yes. To new beginnings. Looking forward to finally having my alone time and rediscovering myself. Two days…

black coffee

black coffee coats my thoughts so well.

two finals and a paper left. 

i’m ready to be done.

can’t wait to get out on the road and run for forever. 

maybe i’ll figure something out, then.

i usually do.

He asked why people are sad. “That’s simple,” says the old man. “They are the prisoners of their personal history. Everyone believes that the main aim in life is to follow a plan. They never ask if that plan is theirs or if it was created by another person. They accumulate experiences, memories, things, other people’s ideas, and it is more than they can possibly cope with. And that is why they forget their dreams.
– Paulo Coelho (via babotofu)

(Source: troubled, via partofmeistoxic)

just a lesson.

maybe you were just part of the whole trial-error thing. 

thats how we figure out life, right?

realization

this year i learned something:

being cared for and not being cared for is completely out of your power. no matter how much energy you place into pursuing the compassion in your relationships, you are simply cared for because you are. and you aren’t simply because they. don’t. care.

that’s it. 

"Respect yourself enough to walk away from anything that no longer serves you, grows you, or makes you happy."
Running and traveling
"In your life, you meet people. Some you never think about again. Some, you wonder what happened to them. There are some that you wonder if they ever think about you. And then there are some you wish you never had to think about again. But you do."
black coffee
"He asked why people are sad. “That’s simple,” says the old man. “They are the prisoners of their personal history. Everyone believes that the main aim in life is to follow a plan. They never ask if that plan is theirs or if it was created by another person. They accumulate experiences, memories, things, other people’s ideas, and it is more than they can possibly cope with. And that is why they forget their dreams."

spoke to you this morning. it ended up with us cursing each other out, you hanging up. i never want to speak to you or see you ever again. you were just a lesson, ive confirmed. and you have been too selfish to love me,  and i’ve been too hopeful in thinking you’ll realize that i deserve better than convenient care. 

then the rest of them followed suit. they all said their goodbyes to me in a heartless text but refused to see me. all three of the ones i tried to use as distractions…from you; from my life. of course. they became close to me. i used them as toys. then i had to hurt them.

“you broke my heart, why would you be given a chance to be the last person i see before forever happens?”

i deserved that. 

and i sit, sipping my 903:focus tea (causing me to focus on this sole thought:)

 awareness: my broken heart is responsible for the damage of even more. like a virus, i infected others with the sadness i so toiled over.

i have been a rotting emotional corpse for 1.5 years and i haven’t even realized it.

i need to run.

just a lesson.
realization

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starting from nowhere; committing to finding somewhere.

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